Candy is fun (we’re eating a lot of it)…but it isn’t about that.
Easter egg hunts are fun (we’re having one today)…but it isn’t about that.
Being with family is fun (we’re having a family brunch)…but it isn’t about that.
The Easter bunny is scary, er…fun…but it isn’t about that.

Today is about celebrating the day that Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead. He is not dead…He is alive! He is my reason for living, my reason for breathing. He gave His life so I could have one. He did it for you too.

Happy Easter…He is Risen!

Today I am thankful beyond any words imaginable. I am saved, I am redeemed, I am forgiven for all the stupid mistakes I have ever made. I am whole, I am secure, I am safe. I am not promised no bad things will happen, but I am promised I will never, ever be alone when they do. He cares, He loves, He is a mystery and an open book. The gifts He has given me bring me to tears (see photo below for an example of one!).

My life would be nothing without Him.

All because HE died for me…for us…for YOU.

“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”

1 Peter 1:18-19

Here’s a real thought that I have been mulling over lately. Stick with me ok?

Why do we become disenchanted with who we are? Why don’t we ever get ENchanted with who we are? That might be a bold way to start this post, but hey…that’s how I roll (yes..I did just say “that’s how I roll”).

I received a really nice email just a couple days ago. A fellow mom wrote to me that us as stay at home moms, “…find it hard not to look around and compare ourselves with others and get down on ourselves.” Yes…I agree…100% yes.

Then my husband and I were chatting about him starting a blog…he voiced that he didn’t think he had anything to say. Um…that is very very wrong. But honestly, that is how I feel most of the time. I can’t wait to read his first blog post and I know he reads every single one of mine.

Just being honest here…I don’t feel I have much to say…much to give or much to display. I think that is why I go long stretches without blogging, not because I’m busy, but because I don’t feel what I have to say is worth anything to write about.

You have to realize, I am a God-fearing-believing-Bible-toting woman. If there was anyone who shouldn’t struggle about her self worth it should be me. The girl with a good childhood, didn’t (really) have a rebellious streak and has a close relationship with God.

And yet. I. still. do.

and you do too.

My goodness we have so much to say, so much to give and so much to write about. Why is it so hard sometimes? Because of fear. Fear that no one will read…fear that many people will read. Fear that we will get burned or criticized for who we are. Fear that we will be real but others will think we are not.

I want to become disenchanted with a life of self doubt. And become enchanted with a life grounded on God and on what He thinks of me and no one else.

I want Him to remove the film that lays thick on my eyes and skin. The film that tries to protect me from hurt and scars, but only leaves disease behind. The film that was put there last year by individuals who didn’t understand the love of God. The film that I put on myself every day when I say I have nothing to give. I want to be made whole and love what I do and do what I love.

Join me.

I figure if I blog about the 4th of July before the week is over…it still counts. Right now my mind is swirling in 1000 different directions, I almost forgot to even grab my camera when we were about to set off fireworks. I love writing, and I don’t do it enough. I commit to changing that, whether anyone reads it or not…I want my thoughts somewhere for my kids to read them one day. I want them to know they are free to wear their emotions right out front, but to know how much to keep hidden in their hearts for Jesus and their spouses to take care of.

I love reading other blogs, specifically ones from fellow moms who love the Lord. I have been so moved by her posts lately. She talks about our words and the intense power they hold. I choose to realize that power and to do something about it. I can choose who speaks into my life, who I surround myself with and who is allowed to influence my kids. I can choose what I say, I have complete control over my tongue and how I use it. I am free to choose…

I am free to not settle, to keep pushing forward to demand that the best possible me surfaces

free to say no when darkness starts to surround me

free to choose…

I have a choice. I choose to speak life, to use my words to lift up others and not tear them down

I choose to cultivate friendships that are grounded in the word of God

I choose to not degrade my husband

I choose to not yell at my children

I know I am not free from trials, but I am 100% free from allowing the trials to make me bitter and ugly

I am free to be beautiful

What are you free to be?

My big girl is now a 2nd grader. She cried huge alligator tears about not seeing her friends over the summer. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she may never see some of those friends again if they choose to enroll in a different school. Life is full of rollercoasters and emotional trials…seeing those wet drops flow down her face was more than I could handle. Her award at school was specifically for her “huge personality”. Yes…that’s my girl. Other children got achievement awards, leadership awards or most improved…my girl got the personality award. I sincerely could not be prouder.

It made me think…what award do I feel I would get? Transported back into the 1st grade, I probably would have gotten the “most shy” or the “longest hair” or something like that :) Now…as I sit, learning life lessons from the Ultimate Teacher….what do I feel I deserve?

Some days I feel I don’t deserve any awards, at least not good ones. Maybe the worst mother award, or the lamest cook or the award for going the longest without washing her hair. Could you imagine? A sweet Kindergarten teacher handing out the “worst listener” award to one of her innocent, gentle spirited students. Unthinkable… Yet I (we) have no problem accepting imaginary awards for terrible things that we do. In reality, I am still that small, shy, super long haired, brown eyed little girl….looking for the attention of a job well done.

In the eyes of my Father I am that little girl…

The award goes to Amy for:

loving her kids so much it hurts

doing the best she can to meet the needs of her husband

nursing her vomity son back to health with super hugs and wet washcloths

being a child of God

being absolutely nothing

being Amy

Because in reality…I don’t deserve any awards. None. Not one. But because of what He did for me a bazillion years ago…I get to reap the benefits of His job well done.

Fill in the blank….the award goes to (state your name) for being (state your name).